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I was blindfolded, but now I’m seeing,
my mind was closing, now I’m believing
I finally know what just what it means to let someone in,
to see the side of me that no one does, or ever will
So if your ever lost and find yourself all alone,
I’d search forever just to bring you home,
Here and now, this I vow*
No matter what gets in my way,
as long as there’s still life in me
No matter what, remember — you know I’ll always come for you
credits:lelove
each new day a small triumph for me.
each new day, my heart tells me the same thing. i love him with a fire stronger.
There seems to be a running theme this weekend: the male psyche.
I watched The Ugly Truth last night with 3 buds and then Manhood, a local play today. And they both essentially dealt with the same issues: expectations people have of men, what men really are, expectations women have of men and things women do but never admit to.
Men are visual creatures. Truth. I could do a one liner now if all females to men were nothing but a quick fling/bang. But it isn’t the end all and be all of things. Looks will only go so far if any straight talking guy will have you know, without detracting from their importance. Now, the same applies to ladies. Looks do matter. And I know many who wouldn’t admit to it. But they do. And thats the truth. As much as the guys value a nice booty or whatnot, girls appreciate a nice chiselled jaw and broad shoulders. Girls can be superficial too, just that our emotional connection bit kicks in a tad bit quicker than the guys.
Girls start off dreaming about the perfect guy and the perfect relationship. There was perhaps once upon a time when we girls had a checklist of qualities that we wanted our Mr Right to have. I remember, I even had a minimum period of dating time i had before i thought i would get together with a guy. oh pish posh. And so we go around looking for this dreamy dude and get disappointed when reality doesn’t quite measure up. So overtime, we wisen up with experience. But oh, how i wish I could have told my younger self this. That there’s no mr perfect. There’s only mr best fit. Out of the 10 attributes you wanted, you’d score if you found a guy with say, 7 and who loves you with everything he has. Thats your guy.
And so sometimes, we think we find this ‘perfect guy’ and we attempt to be someone we’re not because we know he likes a certain kind of girl who’s not you. Then in the process we lose ourselves. But it never works. Because you want a guy who loves you for who you are and not who he makes you out to be.
Because unlike girls who have a checklist of attributes which make Mr Perfect, guys are alot simpler. Their idea of a perfect girl is their best friend in Angelina Jolie’s body. Ok, it conjures up a million wrong images but the essence of it is simple. Most guys don’t like girly girls fussing over the smallest thing. While they appreciate your femininity, the smell of your hair, the twinkle of your eyes or your smile, they would love to have a girl who is easy going and whom they can relate to like their best friend. And I guess, it never fails to impress if a hot girl can not be self- conscious for a day and get down and dirty, doing a guy thing. If you know what I mean.
Girls don’t know what they want. We don’t quite know what kind of guy we want, or rather, what suits our needs best. At least, not without experience. Perhaps at least half the female population would have led a guy on before, unwittingly or not, just because she wasn’t sure of what she wanted. Hey, I like hanging out with him but I’m not sure if I can bring it to the next level. And then this applies to more than one guy. Girls like having guys take charge. Its always nice leaving the decisions to him. But when they do, it gets annoying and then we complain that they don’t listen. And so when guys ask, we tell them we don’t know. Or more often than not, ” i’m anything lah“ but change your mind when he decides. Girls, there is a line to be drawn between easy-going and indecisiveness.
And then there’s the age old complain that all guys probably have. That the female population is always all about equality but when its actually presented to them on a platter, thats not we really want. We still want to be treated ‘right’, we still have very pre-set notions of men and women. We’re just not ready to be treated as equals. Girls, sometimes, there’s nothing wrong with admitting that you still want to be protected and be his lil missus. But when the time comes, for us to be treated as equals, step up to it. And suck it up.
Girls expect their guys to be their hero, solving all their problems with smiles 24/7 while dealing with their own lives on their other hand. I’ve been there, done that. And over time, you learn that its impossible and somethings gotta give. Because, at the end of the day, our men, are only human. Girls like to use emotional words to which guys have no defense to. go figure.
Females and Males have different focuses at times.
Guy: ” I love you even though you’re a psycho at times”
Girl:” I am not psycho ! ( and goes into a tirade)”
Guys POV: I just said I loved you…
*
I know I sound like I’m rooting for the guys but trust me, its not easy for me to objectively state these things down about my own gender without qualifying or justifying them. Only because I know we are guilty of it from time to time. But even though i’ve written all these down in black and white, it probably doesn’t mean that I’ll be perfect from now on. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll commit one of the cardinal sins as above said. Perhaps not. Perhaps this made you think more about yourself and your gender. Perhaps not.
But after all is said and done, guys, all girls want is to be loved wholeheartedly and to let them know this, whenever possible. Because never underestimate the power of those three simple words. Better still in a little blue box. (Just Kidding.;))
Girls, I hope you find your Mr Best Fit, (not Perfect) in time to come. The guy who will speak words as beautiful as the following and mean them:
Today’s the day my life begins. All my life I’ve been just me. Just a smart mouth kid. Today I become a man. Today I become a husband. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself. Today I become accountable to you. To our future. To all the possibilities that a marriage has to offer. Together, no matter what happens, I’ll be ready. For anything. For everything. To take on life, to take on love. To take on possibility and responsibility. Today Izzie Stevens, our life together begins. And I for one can’t wait.
